"Ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be starting our decent into Vancouver International Airport." I jump a little as the pilot's voice comes over the intercom into the cabin and interrupts my train of thought. As we fasten our seatbelts and fold our tray tables into the closed position I can't help but sink back into the flashback of my life a few months ago and the events that occurred before I got that fateful phone call from Elaine. The day I found out Kate had cheated was the worst day of my life to date, my whole world fell apart in a matter of minutes.
I wanted to wipe that smug look off her face and I wasn't above doing so in front of whoever might walk past to witness it.
Instead I had somehow calmly typed up the notes from my meeting, gone home, packed a bag, grabbed Wilbur and his things, written Kate a note and gone to Sara's.
At one stage I had actually thrown a pair of shoes in the case, but the thought of seeing Kate again only brought back painful memories of the day my world fell apart and instead of packing I ended up laid in bed staring at the wall with a stream of pathetic tears rolling down my face.
I was distracted all morning at work that day and as I watched the flight go from scheduled to departed on the airport website the tears started again.
I had lasted about five minutes after switching off the tv before breaking down completely..decision to not get on the plane had become a sign of the end for my subconscious.
It might have taken a few hours, but my conscious mind finally caught up that night.
Getting a plane ticket had cost me my relationship with Becca, she had finally reached her limit and called round while I was packing my bag to tell me it was over, I couldn't blame her, I liked her yes, but I wasn't in love with her and deep down I knew she wasn't in love with me, in the end I actually just felt relieved that we were done. I switched on my phone with shaking hands as the plane taxied to the terminal, Ira had messaged to say Kate's brother Liam would pick me up at the airport, I hadn't met Liam before but I knew he was Kate's favourite of her three brothers. "Thanks for coming," He says, squeezing so tight I can barely breathe, "I know you didn't have to but believe me, we all really appreciate you flying out." "I'm not sure what I'll be able to do." I gasp. " "I might change my mind if we go home first." I reply nervously. Liam talks non-stop as we drive to the hospital, he's definitely the product of Ira and Elaine, but he's polite and friendly and I'm incredibly thankful for the distraction.
I recognised him instantly as I walked out into the airport, he had Kate's eyes and easy smile, I could definitely appreciate why he was as popular with women as Kate had said he was. "Trust me," he smiles, letting go of me, "you just being here will make a difference." "Even if we end up on worse terms than we are now? "Hey," he grips my shoulder, "if you don't want to see her, no-one will force you." "No, no, it's ok," I smile, "I'm just a bit nervous..time I saw her was when..know..." "I know." He smiles sadly "How's this, we'll get in the car and head to the hospital and if, at any point, you need to take a break, you let me know and I'll take you to my folks' place? "Hey," he says as we start to pass signs for the hospital, "did you hear about Nina? " "Well, you know how she was fucking Kate's new boss..." he glances sideways at me, then realises his mistake and smiles "sorry, of course you didn't know that. Elaine wasn't exaggerating when she said she wasn't taking care of herself.
I sat on the edge of the sofa and sobbed, I knew Kate was gone, I knew she had cheated and broken my heart, but that never stopped me from missing her every second of each day that passed. The next morning things were still far from ok, I called in sick to work and took myself on a long walk to try and clear my head.
I thought a lot about leaving the house, Sara had offered me her spare room before I went away and Wilbur would be more than welcome, but I couldn't do it, even though the house was full of memories of mine and Kate's life together and it often hurt to relive them, it was still my home and I loved it.
In then end Sara grew so sick of seeing me staring at it that she opened it herself. She pushed me out the door for work, made sure I ate and washed and sent me on more dates with Rebecca..more letters started arriving from Kate I threw them in the suitcase in the wardrobe and left them unopened. By the end of January, almost four months later, I was still fighting a losing battle with myself trying to get over Kate.