And despite spending the last 11 years trying to find a girlfriend, I haven’t had a single one, and – to add insult to injury – I’m still a virgin! Of those, I felt the vast majority went well – I do have social skills after all – and I expressed interest in a second date for 17 or 18 of the women…
Right, here’s the first thing that leaps out at me: out of 20 dates, you’ve wanted to have a second date with 90% of them. is a discerning that you’ve only ever gone out with people who were exactly what you’re looking for… One of the issues with online dating is that it’s impossible to successfully gauge compatibility without meeting in person. You can have great, flirty conversations via text and instant messages or even Snapchat.
So, I’m going to break in here right at the start: this is a good thing to recognize in yourself.
Realizing that you’re holding on to negative, self-limiting beliefs is an important step in overcoming them. Physically attractive, tall and fit, non smoker, social drinker, intelligent (masters qualified), undertaking a career that corresponds with my education level, and cultured, with a strong interest in many of the arts, along with active competition in sport (i’m a cyclist) to a high amateur level.
When we see people in person, we process those signs and signals so quickly that we don’t realize that we’ve gone through a checklist. Your attitude literally bleeds into everything you do, in ways that you don’t think about.
We just know “Yes, I’m attracted to that person” or “No, I’m not”. An amazing actor can pull this off for a little while. It affects how you talk to people, the way you perceive the world and how you interact with it. And like Binary Sunset, this is a theme that’s going to be recurring throughout your letter.
People all over the autism spectrum have relationships which run the gamut, from friends-with-benefits arrangements to long and happy marriages.
Despite all of this, I have only ever had one 5-month relationship when I was 16. I’ve found it very very difficult to get dates at a regular frequency, so in that time I’ve been on only 20 dates.
Just me forever alone, and nothing I can do about it. And, once again: this isn’t an example of female privilege.
All this talk of female oppression and male privilege, but nothing about the female privilege…
– To make matters worse, I’m now the only single person I know.