It takes very little to accidentally give the impression that you’re bitter and resentful and as we all know, there’s nothing that makes panties evaporate faster than complaining about how often you get stuck in the Friend Zone.You have to treat your dating profile as an advertisement; you are, after all, selling yourself to others.
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This is a mistake – and one that makes online dating considerably more inefficient and tedious. Some of the oldest and most boring cliches of online dating are the people who just say that they’re some attractive quality… Saying that you’re funny or spontaneous or romantic is the dating site equivalent of “I listen to a little bit of everything except country and rap.” It’s so generic as to mean nothing.
One of the advantages of online dating is that you are capable of carrying on several asynchronous conversations, fielding responses from persons X and Y while also sending out an introductory message to person Z. Focusing on one single person – even if you’re at the “meeting in person” stage – puts far too much importance on them and makes it sting worse if it doesn’t work out the way you’d hope. Everyone has heard it a thousand times before they saw your profile and they didn’t believe it any of those times either.
In the great chain of credibility, being told something is the least believable.
Having a second party tell vouch for you is more believable, but being able to On the other hand, if your friend tells you about the incredibly lavish party they went to at Nerd Love Manor (aka: the Gatsby Gambit) last weekend, you’re more inclined to believe that yes, I am a millionaire with a mansion and a yacht.
This means that you have to consider your market, what you’re looking for and what makes you, specifically, attractive to others.
OKCupid, for example, is structured more heavily towards casual dating and hooking up.
And if I happen to sail past your house – which is quite the feat when you live in the middle of a land-locked city, let me tell you – then you’re If you have a sharp wit or a way with words, work that into your profile.
Don’t call attention to it, just work it into your “About Me” section or “What I’m Looking For”.
All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.