Many girls uphold the virginal values of the sexual hierarchy, but worry that being seen with a boy, public affection, or having a boyfriend can be misconstrued as indications of genital-contact, even if the relationship does not. Therefore, the aim to be sexually proper is actually an aim to seem sexually proper—therefore contradicting the foundation for morals themselves.The risks of appearance in public with boys diminishes with age, as the college years become an acceptable time for girls to initiate dating, and essentially marriage preparation.
A beautiful daughter in good standing with refined social graces can allure a suitor of greater status.
Though traditional Iran explicitly exchanged women as gifts, second-generation daughters are exchanged implicitly—a daughter is not forced into an arranged marriage, rather she has free choice among acceptable options, giving her the illusion of free choice altogether.
A teenage girl should never be alone with a boy, or be the only girl in the company of multiple boys—this is suspicious behavior and an indicator of inappropriate and likely sexual conduct.
There is a small minority of girls who disregard certain or all sexual and social regulations and risk the consequence.
For teenagers, the Iranian grape-vine enforces regulated public behavior.
Although parentally-condoned dating is pervasively off-limits to girls, the social aspect of traditional Iranian culture largely involves extravagant parties, loud music, sexually suggestive Arabic dancing, alcohol consumption and late-hours.
The demands of marriage eligibility also enforce a stringent and theological moral code based on Rubin’s notion of sex negativity, declaring sex in and of itself as sinful unless performed in marriage.
In line with Rubin’s assertion, “Family plays an important role in enforcing sexual conformity,” (p 22, Thinking Sex).
Jewish-Iranian girls are well aware that relationships should be kept sexually immature to ensure safety.