2 View All Next »I want to introduce you to someone. She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.
And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t someone looking for geeky attention or a propped up fantasy. But “intimidating” is almost uselessly vague, especially if they keeps coming up; it covers a multitude of meanings to the point that it means everything and nothing at once.
This is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at Christina Hendricks are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on.
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I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.
Nerd Love Facebook Page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. So let’s take a look at what men say is intimidating… Men can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her.
Many guys – especially introverts – can find this upsetting or discomforting.
He may feel as though he’s going to have to put on a performance in order to keep up with her.
Being told “You’re too intimidating” is incredibly aggravating to women.
After all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. Are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening? Because “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, I thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys.
There is no reason why you should try to force yourself to be someone you’re not in order to meet somebody else’s criteria.
Now, that having been said: you want to consider toning down your behavior somewhat.
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He may be overwhelmed by the force of her personality and worry that he will be forced to be the inferior partner in the relationship.