For myself, reading your responses and experiences have given me the invaluable opportunity to learn about you. All these require an ability to think consciously and to maintain a level of objectivity, which is hard because such matters are usually linked to deep sorrows and injured pride. Thinking you have moved on and having really moved on.
Meanwhile, please enjoy the last part of this series. If it wasn’t for my experience with G, I’d think moving on is just a matter of putting the past behind us. In the former, you continue to live under the shadow of that person or relationship without realizing it.
Not only that, it leads to a lot of mental projections – both on you and of him/her.
No matter how I tried to push away the past, it hung there like a shroud, affecting the way I thought about myself, my decisions, and my actions.
While these do help in some way, I realized that there is more than meets the eye.
For you to move on, you have to first know whether you have moved on or not.
Here are 12 signs to tell if you have not moved on: The moving on process will take time, probably longer than you might think.
If the relationship was intense, your baggage will probably include hate, grief, anger, fear, shame and other deeper emotions. Whatever the emotion is, open yourself to the emotion fully. They may feel like they have moved on, but what’s really happening is the issue has just become so deeply buried that it doesn’t cause any immediate reaction.
This means if you hate the person, feel that hatred. It’s like having a cut that is healed on the surface, but still has impurities underneath the scar.
In these 4 years, there was a truckload of baggage cleared.
To be honest, it really shocked me to know the amount of baggage that was stored inside me all this while, despite actively living consciously.
There were many times when I came to a new revelation and thought I had thus moved on, only to realize afterward there was more inner baggage to be cleared.
This didn’t mean I wasn’t making progress before; it just meant the emotional wound was deeper than I thought.
As you connect with these emotions, slowly let them go.