What sense does it make to commit to a person during the pre-commitment phase? We’re advised to explore our options in every other aspect of our lives. “[It’s] about weighting your options instead of driving yourself nuts and obsessing over just one man. I’m not sabotaging myself by prematurely setting expectations or becoming emotionally attached to any one guy.
Finally, it’s a problem that’s disappointing many of the young Christian women in our lives. But somewhere among books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a lack of relationship role models and trying to navigate the minefield that is modern dating, something changed for our generation. Chances are pretty good that all of these women know each other and fellowship on a regular basis.
A number of problematic attitudes crept into Christian culture. Chances are also pretty high that they share stories and gossip with each other.
It’s a problem that will require all of our courage, confidence and creativity to solve. They end up settling down for some gay ass hipster boy or Justin Bieber or man-bun douche.
It’s a problem that affects many of our brothers in Christ—it might even be affecting you. My father has many memories of giving the cute girl from youth group a ride home on the handlebars of his bicycle, while my grandfather had something of a reputation for dancing with all the eligible young ladies at Christian fundraisers. Here’s the 100% HONEST truth from a man’s perspective. Let’s say a man is part of a church community containing several single women around his age.
I was in my final weeks of graduate school when it dawned on me— my approach to dating was completely wrong and I was pretty much setting myself up for failure.
Fate would have it that within a three-week timespan, I met three handsome young men— all of whom I found interest in.Since we were 13 and introduced to concepts like abstinence, sexuality purity, and books like , we’ve been drilled with teachings that we should pattern our romantic relationships after Mary and Joseph (minus the immaculate conception, of course) and in some extreme situations, Adam and Eve. We’re taught not to date for recreation, but with marriage in mind.Of course, Adam and Eve had it a lot easier considering that they were the only two humans on the planet. Unfortunately, we’re rarely offered a realistic glance at what this actually looks like.As I lamented over which of three I’d cut off and which one would remain, a very simple question emerged: “Why?” Why would I limit myself and my chances of of meeting the right person by only dating one man at a time?Or, even worse, being taken advantage of by a noncommittal church boy with vague intentions.