Your duties will include, but are not limited to, ideation and implementation of a date that shows an attentiveness to her likes.
Execution of an excellent date should involve intelligent, stimulating, and entertaining conversation.
: Highest level of education completed/currently working towards: high school diploma high school equivalency (GED) associates degree bachelors degree master’s degree MBA/JD Ph. : Accidentally Yahoo/Google A friend told me An enemy told me You told me about your stupid page I can smell your desperation from here A scorching case of herpes led me here God hates me Blind hogs eventually find acorns “I fell off the jungle gym and woke up in here.” Why are you filling out this form? : Your caustic wit and ambitious verve Your cute face and hot body Your caustic wit and ambitious verve Your constant use of foul, discourteous language The way you show no regard for the feelings of others The way your immense ego blocks out any real emotional depth You make me laugh Your single-minded obsession with all things Tucker I like how you never use deodorant. : My beautiful eyes My sharp wit My compassionate nature My incredible intelligence My huge breasts I have the ass of a 12 year-old girl My cottage cheese thighs My sphincter can break a beer bottle My matted pubic hair My charming autism My colostomy bag My willingness to use sex to get what I want My perfect landing strip “The tar fumes are making me dizzy.” What would you expect me to bring?
Application for dating my sister
You must also possess the necessary skills in making her laugh.
(REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME) NOTE – This application will be Incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________ 5. HOME ADDRESS: ________________CITY: _________ ZIP ______ 6. Yes____ No_______ If NO, explain: ________________________________ 7.
Opportunity for advancement is available depending on your level of interest and that of my daughter.
It will require a higher level of dedication, including a willingness to put her needs above your own, being patient with her fluctuating emotions, and undeterred faithfulness.
All activities are to be fully funded by you, the applicant.
At the completion of the date, it is your duty to return my daughter safely at the agreed upon time. HEIGHT:___________ WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: ___________DRIVERS LICENSE #: _________ 4. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, priest or pastor? Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely – all answers are confidential (That means I won’t tell anyone – I promise): A.Your name: Your email: Your age: Your sex: Female (This is non-negotiable. D./MD/DMD I go to the Vo-Tech, climb under a car, and sleep all day Jay Truck Driving School what’s edumacation? Your pheromones are too sexy to cover up I don’t like myself, and I’m hoping you’ll treat me like a used-up stripper Everything “You’re deceptive.” When would you like to go out with me? ) The kids at school used to call out “Baaaby Ruuth” when I would walk by No, really, I don’t think you understand: I am UG-LY “Daddy says I’m ‘this close’ to living in the yard! : Cheap flowers Expensive champagne Your A game I like shiny things A unquenchable libido Astroglide A shoehorn Amniotic dysentery A small, hairless Asian boy Your enema bag collection “And I want a bike and a monkey and a friend for the monkey.” What will I do when I see you?It is a set of clearly expressed duties and expectations.